What Hurts The Most
by EmLovesYouu
Summary: Twoshot/Songfic - She tried to be her friend, but in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but think of her as the competition. It was stupid, calling her the competition; Hannah had clearly won.
1. Chapter 1

**This is going to be a two-shot/songfic. Set at the start of Season Six. Hope you like it.**

**Enjoy!**

_**(This is where the line break should be)**_

**May 2011**

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
_

The saying that 'change is inevitable' is one that Temperance Brennan had always stuck by. Change is part of evolution, and as an Anthropologist, she went by that. People are always changing; the length of their hair, their weight, their health. To say that one does not change is lying.

When in Indonesia, she had changed. She had gotten a tan from the countless hours she had spent in the sun. Her hair had grown, which bothered her, prompting her to get a hair cut. She began to tolerate Daisy's presence, after spending all waking hours with her. Booth had changed also, in his time overseas. His hair was now kept short. He flinched more often at sudden noises than he had before. He valued his time with families and friends more, after not seeing them for such a long time. She had expected him to change; how could he not after being somewhere like that for seven months. What she hadn't expected though, was the extent to which he had changed. His physical changes, yes, but his emotional changes, no.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me  
_

Booth had always been the strong one, the sure one. Sure of his feelings for her whilst she spent hours trying to decipher what hers meant. He'd been strong enough, brave enough, to take it that step further, knowing only too well that he could get hurt in the process. She hadn't been that strong. She didn't take that step with him, because she knew just how much she _could_ get hurt.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
_

Seeing Hannah, even just hearing of her, had been like a hard slap across the face; her own regret snapping back at her. He seemed so confident, so joyful, when he talked about her. It hurt her to know that that could have been her he was talking about. To know what she had unconsciously given up, shocked her.

All that she knew had betrayed her. She hadn't been taught what to do in such a situation. She didn't have a clue in the world what to do about it.

_And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do  
_

Everyone was so happy for him that it was hard to confide in anyone; even Angela. How do you tell someone who is so full of joy and happiness about the sorrow and regret you're overflowing with? You don't. She pretended to be happy for him; for his sake. For _her_ sake. She needed to be. She was the one that had cornered him into this; given him no other choice, really. This is what she had thought best, for both them and their partnership.

Turns out she was wrong.

Turns out that the feelings they'd had, they'd held back, were the ones that had made 'Booth and Brennan'. Without that there, it seemed like they were just ordinary partners.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
_

She sometimes found herself scared of going into the lab in the morning, or going to The Founding Fathers for drinks, in the case that she might see them together. Seeing what she could have had, in the flesh, right in front of her, hurt like hell. It hurt to know that he _had_ wanted that with her; when at the time, she had been completely oblivious to what she wanted.

_Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken  
_

Hannah seemed nice enough. She tried to be her friend, but in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but think of her as the competition. It was stupid, calling her the competition; Hannah had clearly won. Not that Booth could be won; he offered himself to you, invited you. She had shut him down completely.

It was now, watching him with another woman, that she realised just how cruel she had been throughout their partnership, though it hadn't occurred to her before. She had known what Booth felt for her, but still didn't acknowledge what it meant.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
_

Not sure how she ended up there, Brennan found herself sitting on a barstool next to Hannah, her blonde her cascading down her shoulders.

"So, Temperance, what exactly is it that you do?" Hannah asked politely, taking a sip at her drink.

"I identify human remains, when they're only bones left," she replied.

"Oh, so that's why Seeley calls you Bones? He would never really talk about the reaon behind it," Hannah commented.

"Yes. How are you liking it in DC?"

"It's different, after being in Afghanistan. But it's nice," Hannah smiled, twirling the straw in her glass. "You and Seeley are really close, aren't you?"

"Yes, we have been partners for five years," she said, not wanting to burden Hannah with just how close Booth had once wanted to be.

_And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do  
_

"He mentioned once, that you and him sort of liked each other. As in, _more than friends_," Hannah brought up.

Almost choking on her drink, she replied, "yes, at one point. Though nothing actually happened, due to being in a professional partnership."

"He loves you, you know."

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
_

"Pardon?" she asked, not sure whether she was hearing correctly.

"Seeley loves you. I mean, _loves_ you. He tries not to show it, and I don't think he realises that I've picked up on it."

"Hannah-" she began.

"I know that I'm the rebound, Temperance. I'm smart, I may not be as smart as you, but I know quite a few things. I know that he's with me in an attempt to get over you. I also know that he didn't care whether or not the two of you were in a professional partnership, he would have dropped it all if you'd have allowed him to," Hannah said, though she couldn't tell whether or not Hannah was happy or said about it; her face didn't give anything away.

_And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do  
_

"You're right for him; not me," she said, looking Hannah in the eyes. "You both deserve each other. I had my chance. Now you can have yours. I'm happy for the both of you."

"Thankyou."

_Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do_

_**(This is where the line break should be)**_

**The lyrics shown in this are from the song: What Hurts The Most by Rascall Flatts.**

**The second part will be up soon. Please review and let me know what you thought.**

**Em xXxXxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Two updates in 24 hours – GO ME! This would've been up last night, but once again, the stupid computer was being an ass. Here is the second and final part to the story. **

**Enjoy!**

_**(This is where the line break should be)**_

Whether it was because she didn't want to break down in front of Hannah or for other reasons, Brennan was unable to express how much Hannah's words about Booth really affected her. She couldn't bring herself to break the bond that had formed between Booth and Hannah. If she had another shot at things with Booth, she would go down a different path than the one she'd once chosen. But she wouldn't hand build one; if it happens, it happens. If not, she'll sit there and smile. If you cant be truly happy, pretending with suffice. Pretending for the sake of others; for Booth's sake.

_**(This is where the line break should be)**_

**August 2011 (2 ½ Months Later)**

Everything was back to normal; mostly. Booth and Brennan were both back in the field working cases. Hodgins tagged along sometimes, though he mostly spent his time at work in the lab, examining particulates and bugs. Angela was a little hesitant at going back to all the 'death stuff', not wanting to burden her unborn baby, but still did reconstructions anyway. Cam was happy, everyone was back in the lab and back to work.

Brennan had kind of gotten used to Booth and Hannah's relationship. She was used to seeing them together; holding hands, kissing, all the things that ordinary couples do. But being used to something doesn't always mean you dislike it any less. She hated the fact that Booth now turned to Hannah in his times of need, instead of her. She hated that Booth would decline drinks because 'Hannah is waiting at home' or 'Hannah and I are going out tonight'. She hated how it was Hannah that Booth invited to Parker's baseball games, instead of her. She hated that it wasn't how it used to be. She hated that it wasn't easy anymore. Her and Booth still occasionally had Thai food if they had to stay late at the office or if Hannah had to go somewhere overnight for a news story. But it wasn't the same, and she hated that.

Sitting on the couch one night, reading through their latest case file and sipping her cup of tea, Brennan was startled by an impatient knock on the door. She got up quickly; no one came 'round this late anymore, not since Booth came back with Hannah.

"Booth, what are you doing here?" she asked in surprise as he walked past her into her apartment, fuming with anger. His brow was creased in concentration and his jaw was set. His fists clenched and unclenched slightly as he stood uncomfortably in her apartment, staring at her with angry eyes.

"I – I just – I – How could you?" he stumbled on his words, becoming only more frustrated.

"Me?" she managed to say. "What did I do?"

"You...Hannah told me about the conversation the two of you had that time you went out for drinks..." Booth prompted.

Thinking back to that conversation, Brennan said, "I thought it was okay to talk about us. She was the one who brought it up, because _you_ told her."

"No. Not that," he said, aggravated.

"What then, Booth? I truly have no idea what you are referring to."

"She told you I love you, Bones!" he cried. "She told you I _love_ you and you brush it off like, oh I don't know, it doesn't matter?"

"Of course it matters!" she retorted. "Do you have _any_ idea how much sleep I've lost thinking about that?"

"If you knew, then why didn't you do anything?"

"I don't know what you mean," she said simply.

Sighing, Booth ran a ran through his hair, "I see the way you look at me and Hannah when we're together. I see the way you try to put on a brave face. A face to cover the resentment. I _know_ that you still fell something for me. If you'd known that I hadn't really moved on at all, why didn't you speak up?"

"Speak up? You mean, like you did outside the Hoover?" She was weary as she brought this up. Ever since it had happened, it had kind of been taboo to talk about it.

"Yeah. Why didn't you, when you knew how much I still love you?" he asked, though it sounded like he was pleading.

"Hannah knew. Hannah knew she was 'the rebound', as she put it, but she didn't care. She knew your heart wasn't in the relationship, but she was so dedicated to making it work for you that she didn't care. I thought that someone who cared that much for you deserved a chance," she admitted truthfully.

Booth stood there, as if he had been stunned into silence by her words.

"Did you _want_ me to speak up?" Brennan asked quietly, almost a whisper.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "That's _all_ I've ever wanted. Bones, just, speak up."

Her heart stalled. When this conversation had begun, she had not expected it to turn to this. She had not expected to be put upon the spot and lay her soul bare.

"Okay," she started. "Booth, I hate some of the things I've done. I hate myself for saying no to you, and for telling you it was okay wit me if you moved on, because it wasn't. I hate that we went our separate ways and I hate that you came back with Hannah. And I know you're happy now, happy with her, and I have _no_ right to say this, but I would like to give us a shot. That is, if you want to."

Beaming, Booth said, "hell yes!"

_**(This is where the line break should be)**_

**THE END.**

**Thanks so much for reading (and reviewing) this story. I really enjoyed writing this and hope you enjoyed reading it just as much. Please review and let me know what you thought.**

**Em xXxXxxx**


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